Movie Preview: First Half of 2006

As always, release dates are subject to change and any new stuff could pop up outta nowhere that I haven't heard of, but this is what I know so far. Links will take you to trailers where available.

SMOKIN’ ACES – In the realm of movies that make you just say “AWESOME,” this looks like the tops. Ben Affleck. Jason Batemen. Ray Liotta. Jeremy Piven. Andy Garcia. Ryan Reynolds. Hells yes. (January 26th)

SERAPHIM FALLS - Liam Neeson and Pierce Brosnan in the old, dirty, wild, wild west. I'll see it. I caught a trailer in theaters, but I can't find it online in any sort of decent quality. (January 26)

FACTORY GIRL – Guy Pearce (MEMENTO, LA CONFIDENTIAL) and Sienna Miller star in a biopic of Andy Warhol, Edie Sedgwick (his muse of sorts), with a dash of a guy who may resemble Bob Dylan a little too much for the man himself. As soon as I saw that Guy Pearce was playing Warhol, that’s all I needed. (February 2)

BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA – I frickin’ loved this book when I was a kid, so attempt to cash in on the success of NARNIA or not, I’ll be there. (February 16)

BLACK SNAKE MOAN – This movie looks messed up as hell, but it also look pretty frickin’ awesome, especially Samuel L. Jackson as an old blues player (Jackson did all his own singing for the film). And Christina Ricci gets naked. Hey, she’s hot. (February 23)

ZODIAC – New movie by David Fincher (FIGHT CLUB, SE7EN)? Starring Robert Downey, Jr. and Jake Gyllenhaal? I don’t even care what it’s about, I’ll see it! Wait, it’s a serial killer? Hey, SE7EN was about a serial killer. I liked SE7EN. I’ll see this movie! (March 2)

300 – How frickin’ cool does this look? HOW?! “SPARTANS! TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!” (March 9)

THE HOST – Monster attacks Korea. Cool. (March 9)

BLACK BOOK - Paul Verhoven (ROBOCOP) makes a war movie. In Dutch no less. Not sure what to make of it yet, but it looks pretty cool. (March 9)

SUNSHINE – I can’t stop watching this trailer. I just can’t. It's one of the best trailers I've ever seen. This looks amazing. Sci-fi fans especially take notice. The trailer's in sorta shitty quality, but I'll post as soon as it hits in glorious Quicktime (March 16)

TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES – I’ve heard complaints about this being computer-generated, but I don’t really see any other way to make it awesome. (March 23)

BLADES OF GLORY – The trailer screams bad, but put Will Arnett (Gob from ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT) in anything and I’ll see it (I did actually intend to see LET’S GO TO PRISON, but it was literally in Boston for a week), even if it is Will Ferrell and Jon Heder (probably the two most overused people in comedy these days) as pro figure skaters. (March 30).

RESCUE DAWN – Christian Bale can do no wrong, even if the movie’s less than stellar (HARSH TIMES). This is a Vietnam movie directed by Werner (GRIZZLY MAN) Herzog, so it should hold up (March 30).

GRIND HOUSE – Robert Rodriguez (SIN CITY) and Quentin Tarantino teaming up for all kinds of bloody greatness. There’s a chick with a grenade launcher where her leg should be. A grenade launcher.

HOT FUZZ – Did you like SHAUN OF THE DEAD? Of course you did. Everyone did (I’m not exaggerating; I’ve never met anyone who didn’t like it). Anyway, this is the new movie by the same guys, starring a lot of the same people. Yeah, try to catch it in theaters this time.

SPIDER-MAN 3 – I’ve written extensively on my love for the Spider-Man franchise, especially the second one (which is not only my favorite superhero movie, but one of my favorite movies ever), so y’know…leave it at that for now. Plus it’s got Venom. Rock. (May 4)

PARIS, JE T’AIME – No, it’s not some silly French film. Well, it sort of is. It’s a series of vignettes about Paris, with segments contributed by a TON of directors, including the Coen Brothers (The Big Lebowski, O Brother Where Art Thou?), Isabel Coixet (who did My Life Without Me, a movie everyone should run out and rent because no one’s heard of it and it’s incredible), Wes Craven (several horror franchises), Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men), Alexander Payne (About Schmidt, Sideways), and Gus Van Sant (Portland’s favorite director). On top of that, the cast includes Steve Buscemi, Willem Dafoe, Nick Nolte, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Bob Hoskins, Elijah Wood, Rufus Sewell, and Natalie Portman. (May 4)

SHREK THE THIRD – I don’t care what anyone says, Shrek 2 sucked. But I have to see the third. It’s just one of those things. (May 18).

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END – I don’t care what anyone says, the second PIRATES is pound for pound a better film than the first in every respect. Here’s hoping the third continues the swashbuckling goodness, especially with the return of Geoffrey Rush and the addition of Chow Yun Fat (a name I still laugh at…I’m such a child).