You've Got to Get Mad

Aaron Sorkin wrote a piece in Saturday's New York Times conjuring up a meeting between Barack Obama and West Wing President Jed Bartlett. It's a silly piece that serves mostly as a vehicle for Aaron Sorkin's thoughts on the election, but then again, Aaron Sorkin's a pretty bright guy. Here's the part that stood out.

OBAMA What would you do?

BARTLETT GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because that’s what they are. Sarah Palin didn’t say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said “Thanks.” You were raised by a single mother on food stamps — where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word “patriot” back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie — the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. It’s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? It’s not bad enough she’s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? It’s not enough that a woman shouldn’t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapist’s baby too? I don’t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure she’s got the qualifications of one. And you’re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!

Every four years, I say I don't really care about the Presidential election outside of the sheer sport of it. And don't get me wrong, I love the sport. But there's always some hook that drags me into it and reminds me that it does matter. This year, that hook is Sarah Palin, the sorriest excuse of a candidate I've ever seen. The idea that anyone could think she's fit to lead the country scares me a little. Really, it does.

I don't think less of Republicans or Democrats, because honestly the differences between the two parties are relatively minor, and increasingly so, and they're both pretty screwed to begin with, but I will actively think less of people who vote McCain/Palin this fall. I mean it. I don't care if you and I are best friends right now. I will look at you as an idiot from November 4th on should you so choose (you can start the hate sooner by voting early!).

Now, let's be clear, I'm not saying vote Obama. I do not care if you don't vote. I do not think it's your duty as an American citizen. I didn't vote in the 2006 election. Know why? Didn't know a thing about the candidates or the issues at hand, and it would be been a gross misuse of what little power I have to vote. If you are ignorant about the issues facing the country, please don't vote. If you don't think Obama's the right guy for the job, please don't vote (I'll give some leeway if you're just using it as a defense vote against McCain/Palin, 'cause that's some of where I'm coming from).

But if you actively vote for McCain/Palin, you are what's wrong with this country, and I will personally look down on you and urge everyone I know to do the same, especially if they somehow win.

And for the record, I agree with Sorkin - the Democrats, as always, have come off too soft and really need to attack the Republicans. Hard. I am eagerly awaiting Friday's debate, and I hope you'll all be watching it as well (9 PM EST on just about every channel - I'll be watching CNN).

Now, Ben, where's my ad space?